In some ways, Ash Wednesday is a repeat of New Year's Day.

As tradition has it, on New Year's Day we make resolutions to exercise more, drink less, and maybe even pledge to go to daily Mass. But as we all know, the proverbial road to hell is paved with good intentions.

The same is true for many of us during Lent. These 40 days are to be filled with reflection, to remind ourselves of the importance of Christ in our lives, and to seek forgiveness for our sins. It is also a time to make sacrifices. If Jesus could spend 40 days in the desert fasting and rebuking the devil, why can’t we go 40 days without chocolate or 40 days without swearing?

Popular psychology puts a different twist on the good and bad of making resolutions. Many are now of the opinion that our resolutions are aimed at our own self-image and ego, that we are trying to improve ourselves so that we look better or feel better. But, these resolutions, too, often fail, because the true focus needs to be outward, not inward.

Psychologists say a better course of action to feeling happy is not to try to improve yourself, but rather, to try to help those around us feel better. And they have studies to prove their point. In one, participants who had to do random acts of kindness each day for strangers vs. treating themselves to something special, felt better at the end of the study. The same was true for those given $10 a week to donate to charity, vs. using the $10 to buy something for themselves.

If we pause and reflect upon this, isn’t this how Christ lived his life, not trying to constantly improve his self-image, but rather, working to improve the wellbeing of those he met? In so doing, he showed them the joy that comes from the selfless love of serving our neighbor and the profound and positive impact it can have on our lives.

So, as we start our 40-day Lenten journey, maybe we should begin a new tradition. In addition to “giving something up for Lent” we should also pledge to look for moments in which we can demonstrate kindness and concern for those around us. Maybe listening a little longer to a co-worker telling us again about a problem in their life? Maybe a meaningful compliment to your spouse, friend or even a total stranger? Maybe helping someone without having to be asked? Maybe volunteering for an extra shift or two at the shelter?

And who knows. When the 40 days of Lent are over, if we truly follow the Ignatian tradition of serving others and as Christ served us, maybe the happiness we find in serving others becomes a lifestyle we won’t want to give up, and a resolution we can finally keep.